Simple-Things Lullaby

A lullaby for the jaded heart,

Soothing dew drops after fight with darts.

As I lay tired on the bed of cotton grass,

Simple things of childhood are past.

Remembering misty words on a monsoon glass,

Play in moment after being scolded in class.

The words seen this moment fading the next,

Close eyes like a child to forget the rest.

Misty mountains to hide my mushy toys,

Hidden in corners safe from decoys.

Lock the pet butterfly in your compass,

Boast of it and make friends fuss.

Dreaming dragons and fairy wands,

Life is sweet with such a simple stance.

Telegram the memoirs and get them back,

Call them urgent for the dreamy rack.

Call the simple things back for night,

Heavy eyelids and a smile are alright.

Mighty tiring the daily chores,

Wake up soon at the fairy’s door.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Photo-credits: Urvi Jain and Meet Jain, two lovable neighborhood kiddies. They were playing with my iPad and came out with these. Love those kids.

For You

I stand by the sidewalk and stare at the faces,

Tired, battered, jaded going through the paces.

Wondering what’s the chaos about the street,

Jumbled queries and my mind meet.

What’s so shiny to make things positive,

What’s special for all as a great derivative?

What’s it that all don’t see and make doldrums,

It’s for them but they just don’t fathom?

A tipping point makes noises and I hear,

Breaking blocks of doubts and fear.

An inner voice makes an emblem for me,

Showing the way that’s there and we can’t see.

“The sun shines for you and lets you see,

The rain falls for you and makes you free.

The dew shines for you and not the grass blade,

The waves dance around for you and not the sand.

The power cuts to light up the candle romance,

TV’s breaking with news just for a smiling glance.

There is evil around to make your good value precious,

Those in need of help make you feel gracious.

Elderly are irate to help you prep your encore,

Kids are making noise to show how you were before.

There are jams of human and motor to cast a puzzle,

Practice the art of finding way in labyrinth of trouble.

In whichever form life paints the picture,

It’s for you to adhere to the happy scripture.”

Numbness creeps over the thoughts as I write,

It’s so simple and difficult to beat the pessimist might.

As I walk the streets and life I’ll remember,

Positivity is the key and light of holy ember.

Use pilgrimage, penance, or meditate for the true,

Don’t forget love and see the beauty made just for you.

Being a Hero

Everyone likes to watch heroes in movies or books to stand for their conviction, struggle against the popular opinions, and whack the bad guys after a grave emotional and physical struggle. Interestingly, the plot shows them as isolated beings with very few friends or relatives. And, even those who are shown to be with them; leave our immortal heroes as the story progresses. The stories show that the heroes have lost it all due to their stubbornness and rigidness for their belief. Those who happen to leave the protagonists say that the dude is just not flexible enough to survive in the world, there is no point being so rigid, we all must step down a bit, the world will not let you survive this way, the world and its people will kill you, etc.

Well, it’s true. That’s the way things operate around us. However, such situations also present you with an opportunity to be a hero for yourself. Forget the popularity that the book or movie heroes gain. Such scenarios give you a chance to be a hero for self.

Conversely, most succumb to the want to move forward in life – be it buying a new car, apartment, or an office promotion. You may not need a new car, apartment, or a promotion, but will want it for being the hero of your family, friends, or office. This is crap-heroism. Such intentions and behavior stoops you below others’ belt.  For instance, you may despise a person for most things, but will lick their _______ for small gains and popularity. In the process, you sell your – ‘self’.

You may live in the glory of a screen or a book hero, but trade your opportunity to be a hero with others for small gains. The tradeoff has become the norm, wherein a person against it is despised and fought by the crap-heroes collectively.

The path is challenging, but if you aim for it, slowly and steadily you may find your own way of being a hero. The key is not giving up – mid way. You may not get a promotion or an award, but if you are true to your work, you will be happy within. Rather than pursuing happiness, follow the process and the inner happiness will be achieved. Rather than the tradeoff involving your ‘self’, live with what you have and have achieved honestly – the results of being a hero for self.

Inspired from Ayn Rand’s philosophy.

A Small, Private Universe

You are just one among the trillions nomading this planet. Your achievements, successes, failures, or those embarrassing moments that you have are confined to either yourself or a small universe that you have built around you. A universe where people whom you love or know – live. It is your private universe, one that matters to you, it is where you drain your energies and it’s the place that charges your batteries.

You are oblivious to the many other private universes just as others are oblivious to yours. You harp, lie, work, cheat, struggle, fight, and give your best in everything to safeguard this small universe. You’ve built this universe with every small experience in your life. The individuals that reside in your den are those who matter to you. They are your world and the rest are people with whom you collide on busy streets and stations. Your universe’s opinion and energies make you happy, sad, angry, or highly motivated. You don’t give a darn to the world outside just as it doesn’t give a darn to you.

I believe in living for your own universe. Just as people in your universe are the world to you, you mean a world to them. Make a universe as true and loving you can. Filter out race, religion, community, caste, and dialect as the selection criteria. Make your world as good as possible. Keep truth, wisdom, and love as its key and only ingredients. Be true irrespective of the situation.

As long as you live – politicians will be corrupt, bureaucrats will seek bribe, media will not tell the truth, marketing will drive your needs, prices will rise, wars will break, and you will doubt everything. If at any time, you feel that the world is cruel and there is no point being good, just think of the line – Thanks to your goodness, there is something more good in the world.

It is your goodness that drives happiness and truth in your universe. It is your truthfulness that motivates others around you to stay good and believe in truth, love, and honesty. Expand the domain of your universe. Spread love and goodness as long as you live. Goodness in your small universe is not negligible in the world. It matters a lot. The goodness has the potential to lead to a chain reaction of love and harmony.

Changing Skies

© 2010 Salil Lawande Photography

 

I wonder as innumerable people change under the changing skies,

Countless stories of love, lust and betrayal are constructed with good lies.

What may come of the stories as fate unfurls,

Make or break beliefs as hearts overcome the crazy curls.

All seems tangled and no hope dawns,

They talk to the unseen and blame the fortune’s pawns.

Life moves as time heals the wounds and erases the lessons,

Making all the same and ready for more possessions.

They come back to the loop to attach and ignore the worst,

Leaving self unprepared for the untimely change to dust.

And so on the lives dwell under the changing skies,

Forgetting the simple lessons from the hard times.

Infinitely ignoring the truth and the storytellers

They make fun and seek illusion from marketers and sellers.

All it takes is a pray to self to never to lament,

A talk to self to walk the path unstrung, with no attachment.

If all may be taken away forever not to return,

Not a part of self shall sway and succumb.

Teach to love one’s life’s every part making it grow,

Learn life’s lesson and share it to make the creed grow.

Be it happiness, Be it Sadness, hope to be the same,

Have a will to continue with a mind detached and sane.

Have the soul that talks, and fights the lies,

Make a soul that shows the paths under the changing skies.

 

Credits: Picture — © 2010 Salil Lawande Photography, Poem Idea — Teachings of Seneca

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do Choices Make us Happier?

Happiness has been an ever-elusive term. As a result, there have been several theories around hapiness. All cultures across the world over ages have  given several theories in an attempt to determine what happiness is and how we can be happy? However, no one has ever been able to define what is happiness? A new idea emerging in the modern world is: choices make us happier. More choices we have, the greater freedom they will lead to; and, greater freedom will lead to happiness.

However, recent researches have revealed that this theory is not necessarily 100% true. A study worth mentioning in this regard is the study conducted by an eminent psycologist: Daniel Gilbert.

Daniel Gilbert conducted an experiment at Havard University to gauge whether more choices make us happy or we are better off with lesser choices. His experiment included two samples of students:

1. Fist sample included participants who were asked to take two photographs as a part of a photography project and then submit one photo to the university. They were allowed to keep the photo that they liked more. In addition, they were allowed to swap the photographs for two two days if they felt they liked the initially submitted photos.
2. The second sample included participants who were not allowed to swap pictures once they submitted the picture. That is, once they submit a picture, they were not allowed to change their mind.

After the submissons were made, Daniel Gilbert and his team made observations of the feelings of the two samples. Most members of the first sample had changed their photos after submission and leveraged the benefit available to them.

As per the general perception that choices make us happier, the first sample should have been a happier group as they were given the choice to change their mind and have more liberty in keeping the photo that they liked. The second group should’ve been less happy between the two groups as they didn’t have the option to change the pictures.

However, the study of behavior of both the groups revealed that the first group was more disappointed than the second sample. One week after the submission, the first groups’ members were still in a dilemna about whether they should have changed the photos. Whereas, the second group displayed a happier behaviour as they didn’t have a choice and made a decision to submit a picture spontaneously.

For example, consider Micheal, a student from the first sample. Micheal has two pictures. First picture shows sun rising from behind hills in a picturesque country. The second picture shows the Newyork skyline. Initially, Micheal thought that he liked the picture of the Newyork skyline more than the Sunrise picture. Hence, he submitted the Sunrise picture and kept the Newyork picture for himself. However, after the submission, Micheal started feeling that the Sunrise picture was better as it reminded him of the peaceful morning when he had clicked the picture. As Micheal is from the first sample, he has the option to change the submitted picture. Hence, he goes and changes his picture so that he now has the Sunrise picture and has submitted the Newyork skyline picture. Now, after the two-day deadline for changing picutures passes, Micheal starts thinking whether he should have changed the pictures? This dilemna reduces his happiness of possessing and capturing a beautiful country picture.

Now, consider the example of Michelle. A student from the sample two. She takes two pictures. First picture shows kids playing in a garden and the second picture shows an old castle. Initially she likes and the picture of the castle more than the picture of kids playing in a garden. So, she submits the picture picture showing kids playing in the garden and keeps the picture of the castle. As she is from the first sample, she cannot change the pictures and doesn’t have the dilemna, which Micheal has after his submission.

If we apply the result of this experiment to our daily lives, it leads to a simple, yet fantastic revelation. For example, let’s apply this study to our shopping experience. In the present day, if you go to shop for a pair of jeans, you have to make decisions about whether you want to buy a boot-cut jeans, a monkey-wash jeans, a straight-fit jeans, a cargo jeans, and god knows what not. You struggle to make a choice about which jeans to buy and your attention is diverted from buying the most comfortable jeans to the most stylish jeans. As a result, you purchase a jeans based on its appearance and style rather than its comfort. So, when you wear that jeans, you might appear stylish, but might have some concern about whether you could’ve got a more comfortable jeans instead of this stylish jeans. So, despite looking good in your new jeans, you might have some concern about the jeans’ comfort level. However, the jeans that you bought could be the most comfortable jeans available, but still the innumerable choices succeed in adding confusion to your mind.

Now consider the good old days when, while shopping, we had to make a choice majorly about the color and size of jeans. You used to buy jeans based on its size and color and were most likely to be happy after your purchase. So, is it bad that we have choices now? Or should we burn all the new styles of various products and go back to stone age?

No my friends, the idea is not destroying the new choices, but to draw your own boundaries. That is, draw your own limits before you are about to make a choice. For example, you can say this to yourself before you go shopping – “ I will shop for a cargo jeans and not look at any other variety.” This way, your dilemna regarding the choice can be minimized.

Another noticable research in this regard is conducted by Barry Schwartz, the author of the book: Paradox of Choices. He says that if we consider ourselves to be a fish in a bowl, then let the limits of the bowl define the boundaries of our circle of vision and choices. If we move out of the bowl, then we will struggle for our lives. Hence, define limits for your bowl (life and choices) through careful consideration, and live within those limits to stay happy and peaceful. As you are the designer of your own bowl, ensure that you select the size optimal for your happiness and a size that you can easily maintain through your resources (finance, family, time at hand, friends, etc).

So overall, live a life of content. For ages saints and religious teachers have been preaching the benefits of a life of content and that such life is the key to happiness. It’s great to see that eminent scientists are now agreeing to such claims. As scientists don’t speak without data, making people agree with scientists’ viewpoint is easier than through mere words of preachers who speak based on ancient and religious wisdom.

So, I’ll conclude this post with two Indian sayings:

• Think high and live simple

AND

• Don’t spread your legs beyond your blanket